Mother's Day Hint

From time to time I fall in utter lust with something extraordinarily tacky.
How great would I be in this Kate Spade Wish You Were Here idiom bangle?
Pretty darn great.
Blogher has rules against endorsing/promoting things over $40. This is over $40. But this is not an endorsement post. This is a Mother's Day hint post. I think my husband has stopped reading my blog though.
Let's test shall we? Hi Honey! I just gave all your VT gear to the vagrants in the park - it's okay yes?

Insuring the Birkin

Last weekend I was at a fundraiser when one of my friends asked me if I insured my handbags.

After my head was done exploding, I collected myself. Who am I to judge. I fully support my friend if she believes a Hermes Birkin bag spoke to her. Lesser things have spoken to me and I had to bring them home.

But here's the thing. I have never actually seen my friend's Birkin. If she actually used the thing, maybe then she should consider insuring it. Also, I don't think that the thugs who might break into her house are going to go, "Dude, We Hit the Jackpot. Look here - A Birkin!!!!"

Also, I had to actually google Birkin when I got home. Oh I've heard about the elusive Birkin, but I couldn' t have told you what one looked like. It's a good thing my friends have me to keep them grounded.

How I Knew He Was the One

Last Saturday I was at the Target picking up some gift tags when I noticed that Target also had really cute wrapping paper. I didn't need any. The gifts were already wrapped. However, I couldn't resist picking up a pink and red roll, all kate spadey and perfect for gifts for my girlie friends, a lime green and white roll, unisex and perfect with a wide array of ribbon, and also a tan, gold, silver and black roll, very art deco-ey. Then I got several rolls of coordinating curling ribbon.

When I got home I put them all out on the bed and called my husband to admire with me. "Look! I bought all this wrapping paper for no good reason!"

Later that afternoon he asked if I wanted him to take the wrapping paper down to the basement. That's when I knew what I had to do. I went to World Market, got a basket, and arranged a wrapping paper bouquet that sits in the corner of our room. Mmmmmm wrapping paper bouquet. If only I hadn't dropped that Canon camera I could show you.

Anyway, on our third date, my husband handed me a gift when he picked me up. It was a wrapped Elvis Costello CD. It was a WRAPPED Elvis Costello CD. He didn't just hand it to me plain. He didn't put it in a gift bag. He wrapped it. He probably thinks it was the fact that he was taking me to Aspen to actually see Elvis Costello that sealed the deal. But I am much more simple than that. He had me at wrapping paper.

My Confession

I am sucked dry, raw and in need of a weekend. By myself.

I feel terribly guilty and I am wondering what is wrong with me.

All I did was spend a day with a 10 year old. But at the end there was nothing left of me. Why is it so hard? Why can I not just have a day with him. Why does it have to be an event. It takes lots of effort, plans, stamina. We cannot seem to have just a weekend day.

Other people cannot feel this way, or they would never have more than one. Or maybe that is the trick, to have more than one so they have each other. But seriously. Love - yes. Frustrated to tears - oh yes.

There. That is my confession. I did not have a good day yesterday.

Curse You Cumin

I bought the expensive cumin because we all know that expensive = good. With it I was going to make my favorite vegetarian tortilla soup. Mmmmmm tortilla soup with melty cheese (vegetarian, not vegan) and cool avocado chunks and soggy tortilla chips. Mmmmmm.

But that damn cumin was bad. It was off - it was pungently sicky sweet. Someone may have switched it with dried sport sock sweat. It was very sad. And because we had a full night of franchise stuff, there was no time to run to the grocery store or out to dinner.

And I know you are thinking OH MY GOD GET OVER IT, but the thing is, my meals have been big huge disappointments lately, both at home and in restaurants. Oh I've got chocolate covered Peeps. Enough to make a meal out of them. But once we cross that line - once we actually make a meal of chocolate covered Peeps, we might as well give into pants with elastic waistbands and long flowy shirts in crinkle/no-iron fabric and bad chunky costume jewelry. And 40 is too young for that my friends it just is. Damn cumin.

I couldn't tell you a thing about Jane Eyre.

There is a constant stream of people that walk into my office wanting to know if they can do certain things. I DON'T KNOW. And its hard because usually what I am doing is not locating a regulation that says they can, but going through every possible source I can think of to determine that there is nothing that says they can't.
It hurts my head.
Do you know what else hurts my head. I read Jane Eyre three times and I couldn't tell you what it was about. Well, someone named Jane, I'm guessing. And if a I recall correctly there was a scene where Jane was hiding behind a curtain reading a book about birds? Maybe? What I do remember is that my freshman year lit professor at Clark University also taught at Tufts, and she would tell us all the time how we were less smart than the Tufts kids. Accordingly, I was not inspired to focus on Jane Eyre, having basically been told that I was not smart enough to understand it. And perhaps she was right. Because I couldn't tell you a thing about Jane Eyre. But I see they've made a movie. There's hope yet.

An Easy Lover

What? What is this Culinary Brilliance. Chocolate Covered Peeps. I have 6 packages, yet that it is not enough. It will never be enough.