Neither of my stepdaughters acknowledged me this Mothers Day. Nor did I acknowledge my own stepmother.
It's alright. They have a mother. I am not their mother, nor have I ever ever fallen into such a role. I am a friend and their father's new wife. Nothing more.
I spent a good many years feeling guilty about that, and perhaps shameful over the reality of divorce for the kids. I thought that in the end it was all going to be okay because the kids would go from having one family to having two families. But that's not the case. They lost a family, but still have a mother and a father. Perhaps that is the bittersweet result of a divorce where both parents still stay involved with the kids.
I want to tell myself that I did the best I could under the circumstances, but I should have done better. So its alright but it's not. It's alright in that I don't fault them for not calling, or texting, or emailing. It's not alright to the extent I am responsible for that.
Divorce was absolutely the right thing for both me and my ex and my husband and his ex and all the kids involved. I maintain that we would have done greater harm to the kids had we pretended, or not pretended, through hurtful relationships that set terrible examples and sucked the life out of the house. Yet I do realize the trade off that we made on their behalf.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Oops
1. My delivery did not arrive so I am postponing my announcement for a week. It has shipped but has otherwise fallen off the tracking record. Except for one Kate Spade incident at Christmas 4 years ago, this is the only shipping error I have ever had with on-line ordering.
2. My son and I went for sushi yesterday which means I was, thereafter, thirsty. Second of all, my son is not one to pass up a free sample. Which together means that we were ripe for the sales pitch the comes with the free samples at Teavana. Yes, we did want to try the free samples of the iced tea inside the store. Yes, the strawberry-lemonade jasmine tea is lovely, but I'll take just the strawberry lemonade.
Salesperson adds a scoop of jasmine to the strawberry lemonade.
"Oh, I just want the strawberry lemonade."
"I already mixed it."
"Oh, that's fine then."
"That will be $44."
"WHAT?"
"It's $44"
"I don't want it."
"I can't resell it. It's a blend."
I felt so duped and so stupid that I couldn't think of a way to talk myself out of it. Really, the appropriate lesson considering my son was right there was that I should have looked at him and said, "Run like hell!"
I have $44 worth of tea. You're all invited over for tea.
3. Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray is a miracle for my not curly, not straight hair.
2. My son and I went for sushi yesterday which means I was, thereafter, thirsty. Second of all, my son is not one to pass up a free sample. Which together means that we were ripe for the sales pitch the comes with the free samples at Teavana. Yes, we did want to try the free samples of the iced tea inside the store. Yes, the strawberry-lemonade jasmine tea is lovely, but I'll take just the strawberry lemonade.
Salesperson adds a scoop of jasmine to the strawberry lemonade.
"Oh, I just want the strawberry lemonade."
"I already mixed it."
"Oh, that's fine then."
"That will be $44."
"WHAT?"
"It's $44"
"I don't want it."
"I can't resell it. It's a blend."
I felt so duped and so stupid that I couldn't think of a way to talk myself out of it. Really, the appropriate lesson considering my son was right there was that I should have looked at him and said, "Run like hell!"
I have $44 worth of tea. You're all invited over for tea.
3. Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray is a miracle for my not curly, not straight hair.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Celebrate a Little.
Happy Friday! Is that a hot pink and orange tulip in your yard or are you just happy to see me? Really this begets two observations. (1) This picture makes us look like we have decaying white siding on our house. Our house is green brick. I can't figure out that background yet I know where the tulip is. (2) Someone should have trimmed the rose bushes a bit lower.
I hope you do something a little extraordinary to celebrate that it's Friday. I think today calls for a pre-work stop at the Whole Foods for a bunch of ranunculus and some sort of ridiculous girly flavored dessert coffee. Party on.
I am anticipating a delivery today - something that I am very, very excited about and can't wait to share with you. It's not a baby.
As much as I like my job, I could use today as a personal day. I don't think I should have to use my weekends as personal days. Weekends should be for gluttony.
I am anticipating a delivery today - something that I am very, very excited about and can't wait to share with you. It's not a baby.
As much as I like my job, I could use today as a personal day. I don't think I should have to use my weekends as personal days. Weekends should be for gluttony.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Eine Kleine Night Reading
Much like J.Lo and Mathew McConaughey, I will go on record as saying that I require 8+ hours of sleep. So it is somewhat ironic that I have been blessed with a child that is an insomniac.
A great majority of the time I am in bed and asleep before my ten year old. I know what you are thinking - FOR SHAME. If he was grumpy or sluggish or otherwise unpleasant, I would say we have a problem. He just doesn't require as much sleep as normal people. This actually runs in my family (except skipped me).
He feels like he has to sneak around if he is reading in bed after his lights out time. And this makes me mad. Not that he is reading in bed, but that he feels like he has to be sneaky. Because I told him, "It's okay to read past lights out if you can't sleep, but don't be sneaky and turn on the damn lights so you don't ruin your eyes."
The other night I woke up and went to check on him. I saw that he quickly moved a big book underneath himself. And I started to get very angry. That is, until I realized he was reading the Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage. How could I be mad? Someone in this family should read it.
A great majority of the time I am in bed and asleep before my ten year old. I know what you are thinking - FOR SHAME. If he was grumpy or sluggish or otherwise unpleasant, I would say we have a problem. He just doesn't require as much sleep as normal people. This actually runs in my family (except skipped me).
He feels like he has to sneak around if he is reading in bed after his lights out time. And this makes me mad. Not that he is reading in bed, but that he feels like he has to be sneaky. Because I told him, "It's okay to read past lights out if you can't sleep, but don't be sneaky and turn on the damn lights so you don't ruin your eyes."
The other night I woke up and went to check on him. I saw that he quickly moved a big book underneath himself. And I started to get very angry. That is, until I realized he was reading the Dictionary of Modern Legal Usage. How could I be mad? Someone in this family should read it.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Well, Someone Should Be on Vacation
This morning I dropped off my 10 year old for his class trip to Moab. At 5:45 a.m. Ha ha ha ha ha. Three poor teachers are with a bus load of 10 year olds that got up before sunrise this morning.
Which also begets the question. Why is my son on vacation and I'm not?
Also, as I was leaving from dropping him off, he decided he wanted my favorite Lulu Lemon hoodie that I just happened to be wearing. It's neon green. And I should also note he's wearing a cowboy hat. Which is where my husband notes it's a wonder he doesn't get his ass kicked on a regular basis.
Which also begets the question. Why is my son on vacation and I'm not?
Also, as I was leaving from dropping him off, he decided he wanted my favorite Lulu Lemon hoodie that I just happened to be wearing. It's neon green. And I should also note he's wearing a cowboy hat. Which is where my husband notes it's a wonder he doesn't get his ass kicked on a regular basis.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Does Anybody Else Have Questions?
Oh where to begin where to begin.
Well, let's start with this. If someone built a three story, windowless compound with retaining walls topped with chicken wire right in the middle of my town, I guarantee my neighbors would be all, oh no he didn't. (There are strict rules about the height of your fence around here.)
Which begets the question - how is it that not a single person in that town gave him up? It wasn't like he was living in a small, single family bungalow that looked like all the other small, single family bungalows. He lived in the biggest damn house in town. They had to know.
And how was nobody swayed by the huge reward on his head. If I knew the whereabouts of somebody with a huge reward on their head, phone calls would be made. It's all so bizarre. I've got many, many questions.
Well, let's start with this. If someone built a three story, windowless compound with retaining walls topped with chicken wire right in the middle of my town, I guarantee my neighbors would be all, oh no he didn't. (There are strict rules about the height of your fence around here.)
Which begets the question - how is it that not a single person in that town gave him up? It wasn't like he was living in a small, single family bungalow that looked like all the other small, single family bungalows. He lived in the biggest damn house in town. They had to know.
And how was nobody swayed by the huge reward on his head. If I knew the whereabouts of somebody with a huge reward on their head, phone calls would be made. It's all so bizarre. I've got many, many questions.
The Kitchen Sink
The weekend was good. Friday we did a little margarita tour. On Saturday we sat at the shopping area where we are quite far along negotiating The Franchise space which begat some worry - but only because I saw a spot two blocks away that I want more. But we can't afford that one as it would be a build out form scratch. The one we are looking at served as a food place before.
Later that night we watched All The President's Men. I had never seen it. Two thumbs up. I spent Sunday picking up the house and I woke up this morning, looked around, and determined that someone needs to pick up this house. Ten year olds. They just don't care.
Today . . . Today people will come in my office with seemingly mundane little "just quick" questions. And those will begat major research projects with no clear answers. After hours and hours (and hours) of research, I will wind up going with my gut. I am looking forward to the time when its not all a great big research project (i) legally, and (ii) figuring out the company in general.
Later that night we watched All The President's Men. I had never seen it. Two thumbs up. I spent Sunday picking up the house and I woke up this morning, looked around, and determined that someone needs to pick up this house. Ten year olds. They just don't care.
Today . . . Today people will come in my office with seemingly mundane little "just quick" questions. And those will begat major research projects with no clear answers. After hours and hours (and hours) of research, I will wind up going with my gut. I am looking forward to the time when its not all a great big research project (i) legally, and (ii) figuring out the company in general.
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