White Trash Cooking Recipe 3 (FRESH)

I am a lawyer so I generally don't read the large print. Meaningless usually. So I totally neglected to notice this recipe was titled BUTTER BEANS (FRESH). That is a large print title with all caps and parentheses. You can see how I would gloss over the (FRESH) part.

Also, much like those who dismiss evolution, it never occurred to me that there was any precursor to the dried butter bean. One day God said, "let there be dried butter bean" and here we are. But as a I did a little reading and educated myself, I realized that the recipe at issue here could not be for dried beans. That's when I checked the title: BUTTER BEANS (FRESH).

Although I am trying to keep this real, I have to confess that I flubbed this with dried beans. So I soaked overnight - and was also slightly tempted to do that 2nd grade butter bean project where you wet a paper towel and press it against a clear plastic glass and then stick a butter bean between the glass and paper towel and in a week or so you have a sprout. But I didn't. I just soaked and then began the regular recipe . . .

This is going to blow your mind - because it comes from nowhere - but you start by frying some pork product. Being over fatback, I just used ham, as the recipe permitted. In fact, let it be noted, the recipe did not even suggest that fatback be used.

Now, I have a recipe for butter beans - aka lima beans. You mix limas, sour cream and onion soup mix and then top it with Rice Krispies. Brilliant. So I was very, very sceptical here that these beans could outdo that, or that they would have any flavor at all. All you do here is brown the pork product and cook the beans with salt and pepper.

Do you know what? They were awesome. They were like comfort food - the mac and cheese of the legume world. My husband and I stood there and ate them right out of the pot. Mmmmmmm. These I will make again. My son? Wouldn't touch them. So, again, two out of three thumbs up.

(P.S. What word follows fresh? Exciting right? I dare you to be a child of the 80's and not know that it goes, "She's fresh, exciting!")

Birth, Death and In Between

Eating out is very important to me, hence a reprieve from White Trash Cooking and the following observations:

1. If Lady Gaga was born that way, why did she change her name and why does she always go out it disguise. Why. I don't get it and if I think to hard on it I get a little agitated.

2. I crap you negative but one of the headlines on cnn.com today was that Jennifer Anniston's dog had died. I think those people might be right - the end of the world may be imminent.

3. I am tired. When I worked at a law firm, that made perfect sense. I was up at all kinds of wrong hours sneaking in additional billable hours. And do you know what they did despite my diligence and fine hour count - the laid my ass off at the slightest turn of the economy. (See, not still bitter.) Anyway, it was very obvious that it was the law firm that was making me tired because I was so not tired when I was at my next job that involved basically filing crap and taking 2.5 hour lunches and then wandering Target prior to going back into work to shut down my computer. But now that I am practicing law again - tired. Is it the brain workout? Anyway, tomorrow, butter beans.

Stewed Cabbage

Recipe 2.

I am so over fatback.

Directions: Brown fatback. Brown cabbage in fatback. Boil.

You know in school there was always that one kid whose house smelled like old cooking. That is now my son. I feel like eau d'pig hangs heavy in all the upholstery. And in my hair. And in my clothes.

HOWEVER. They liked it. They both liked it. My son asked for seconds. My husband took seconds. Of cabbage. Perhaps it is because I was the cook, but it all seemed a little fatbacky to me.

To be fair, the recipe did say you could use bacon. But I had the fatback, so I used it. I actually really liked the cabbage after browning but before the boiling, when it was still kind of crispy. Can you eat underdone cabbage? I don't know.

Conclusion: 2 out of 3 thumbs up. My boys are loving me and my son even spontaneously told me today that I am a good cook. It should be noted that later in the evening my husband declared that he didn't think dinner was sitting so well. Nevertheless, I am feeling rather smug about the amount of vegetable consumption in my family since the beginning of this project. Perhaps I have uncovered a universal truth - Males will eat any vegetable provided that it is coated in animal fat.

1. Uncle Willie's Swamp Cabbage Stew

Recipe 1. Uncle Willie's Swamp Cabbage Stew.

I want to stay as true to the recipes as possible, so you can image I was very pleased when I read, "If you don't live along the Carolina, Georgia, North Florida coast, Hearts of Palm in a can will work."

But the fatback was another story. Fatback is just that, the strip of fat off a pig's back. It's what they use to make lard and pork rinds. If I lived anywhere near a Piggly Wiggly, this might have been easier. Alas, I do not live near a Pig. I live in the land of soy and fit people. However, after much exploration and explanation, I was able to source it right here at a grocery store.

After rendering down the fatback, which smells like hell, you add the hearts of palm, onions, tomatoes, thyme and sugar. Really, this was stewed tomatoes. It looked like something I had regurgitated after a night of Chianti. Not a stellar way to start this project, except . . .

My boys liked it! My son, who doesn't liked his food mixed, asked me what it was. I thought this was the prelude to him telling me he didn't like it. Instead, he said it was really good. And my husband had two heaping helpings. Go figure. Recipe 1, two of three thumbs up.

Announcement

I got my delivery! Here's the announcement, followed by some FAQs . . .

In addition to the usual blog entries you will find here,

on this the 25th Anniversary of White Trash Cooking,

I am going to work my way through the White Trash Cooking cookbook.

1. Hasn't this blog concept been done before?

Yes. Lawyers call that precedent.

2. Aren't you making fun of white trash people by doing this?

No. Several of my family members are white trash.

3. Are you really going to cook squirrel, possum and gator?

Yes and No. If I can source it at one of the three specialty meat stores in town, or if it can be sourced from the first three pages of a Google search, I'll make it.

4. Why white trash cooking?
I've been craving real food lately - that is, a meal where something has been sacrificed, milked and/or fried for my dining pleasure.

5. Why do this recipe by recipe.

Otherwise it wouldn't get done. I would just pick one or two recipes and never broaden my horizons.

6. To what end?

If I successfully complete this, I am going to treat myself to some sort of cleanse. Whether that be one of those 5 day liquid things or a delicious trip, I have not yet decided.

Tomorrow - Review of Recipe 1, Uncle Willie's Swamp Cabbage Stew. This required the sourcing and use of fatback.

I'm your sister, sister.

I hosted a sorority alumni event at my house. Because someone begged me to after the original host cancelled. I cleaned my house (the parts people would see) and bought flowers. If I was the kappaprep, I would have put out jellybeans in my sorority colors and had color coordinating cake balls and printables. That might be my least favorite word after panties and scrapbooking - printables.

And you might be thinking, hey, that is the second time in as many weeks that you have mentioned the kappaprep. What gives? Well, one, I emailed her about a crazy connection that we have that I discovered out of pure randomness. Now, if someone emails you out of the blue and tells you that you have someone in common and that someone is pretty special and is going through some crazy things, wouldn't you email back? And, b, I am secretly fascinated by the extent of themeness of the things she does. And also that she sells her used clothes on her blog.

Anyway, these sorority alumni events always remind me of why I didn't love being in a sorority in university. The younger alumni (is it alumni? Alumnus? Almenie?) still sport 'tudes. Hello! I'm your SISTER. Sister. They come into my house, drink my wine, and talk amongst themselves. As if I am not still cool. Which I am.

But the rest of them are lovely. I don't see myself, you know, attending a national convention or going to the philanthropic events, but the events where there is wine and we exchange presents? Okay. But I really would prefer if we could do these things on Wednesdays because there is no good t.v. on Wednesdays. Whereas Tuesdays there's Chopped.

Location Location Location

Y'all. We're in possession of a Letter of Intent for The Franchise space. That is, we gave our bid and the landlord redlined it and we are fairly close. And I am trying to get excited. If you go in a mall, they will come. But if you build it free standing, will they come? We have to make a decision here fairly soon.

Part of me feels like we should hold out for a mall space. But even our new good broker is telling us she doesn't know if she can get us in there this year. So holding out may not even be realistic. Why has this space thing been so hard? All I know is that we have to make a decision soon, not just because everyone is waiting on us, but because every night I am tossing and turning and not sleeping and stressing.