Religion and Politics

There are some places I won't go in this blog. My extended family is generally off limits, although this pains me greatly to say given the availability of rich material. Let me just say that they are quite religious and quite Republican. (Note to husband, the point here is about my son, not the extended family.)

Last summer, we were at Family Beach Vacation in Marathon Key. On the last day, my son was telling his step-grandma about his school project on Buddha. Remember, he goes to an alternative learning school where they can study whatever they want. I was quite proud of his ability to recite the 7 Noble Truths. I heard him telling his step-grandma about this and left them to their conversation.

Later that day, at the airport, my son wasn't acting like himself so I asked him what was wrong. He asked me if he was going to hell. I, of course, asked him why. He said that his step-grandma had said that if you worship false gods, you will go to hell. I don't know whether it is more correct to say that I went bat shit or ape shit, but let's just say that I was not happy.

I spent the next couple of days trying to convince my son that he was not going to hell and that he was correct and so clever for knowing that Buddha is not even a god. And, anyway, as far as his dad and I were concerned, he could believe in and study whatever he wanted.

My son asked questions about religion and philosophies for a few more days. Other than insisting that we visit a stupa, he pretty much forgot about the topic and we never heard another word about it.

Until, that is, my husband's mother and grandmother arrived for Thanksgiving. They were all seated at the table with my son waiting to be served. My son is such a little shit. All of a sudden, out of the blue, he said, "So, mom, lets talk about how Buddha is not a false god."

At this point I took him into the bedroom and said, "Dude, no religion or politics at the dinner table." And he said, "You mean, I can't talk about Obama." Oh dear God no. No Obama. You are so going to hell.

The Second Best $25

I got a fantastic statement necklace at The Limited earlier this week for $25. That is the second best $25 I have ever spent. The best $25 I ever spent was for a latte in Bora Bora. Of course, I didn't know (and could not have even imagined) that I was ordering a $25 latte, but once I found out, don't you know that I could only then conclude it was the best damn latte ever.

Here are two important lessons: (1) If you happen to be fish-belly white thanks to your Scottish heritage, statement necklaces are a great way to minimize the expanse of blinding white skin when wearing a v-neck; and (2) Don't order the coffee in Bora Bora - unless, of course, you are like me and when it has been at least a week since your last coffee, you find that $25 is an entirely reasonable price for a latte.

Roasted Turkey.

Youtube. Swedish Chef Roasted Turkey.

Tradition

Last Thanksgiving, after sticking the bird in the oven and waiting for the step-kids to come over, do you know what I did? I logged some billable hours. Do you know what I am not going to do this Thanksgiving? Log some billable hours. (And, yes, that's the good news.)

I have even logged billable hours on Christmas. So, all my dear associate attorney readers, let me put it to you this way - even if you bill all through the holidays, they may still lay off your ass come Spring. Relax. Enjoy.

But if I know associate attorneys like I know associate attorneys, they'll just go ahead and work. They will probably go in on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to make up for the Thursday. Do I miss living like that? Yea, I do. There's a kind of worker's high that comes along with being in that kind of a zone.

But this year - no billable hours. I am going to enjoy, with pure and utter blissful delight, watching the Broadway people lip-sync their numbers at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade while the crew from the Today Show natters on about something incomprehensibly inane, opening a bottle of red wine at 10:59 a.m., and, as per tradition, after the pies, putting on A Christmas Story to officially start the holiday season.

In Praise of Southern Women

Speaking of cataracts (we were, I promise), I saw The Blind Side this weekend. Yay for Southern women! I get frustrated with anyone who perpetuates the stereotype of having your hair done and eyeliner on for a trip to the grocery store as a bad thing. At my grocery store, I see women in pajamas, nubby flannel and yoga pants. Is this any better?

Anyway, Leigh Ann Toughy in the Blind Side may be an extreme case, but I would certainly say that she is typical of many of the Southern women that I know who dedicate themselves to their family and to charitable service. (So what if they do it impeccably groomed?)

One of my friends from the South moved here a few months ago. We were having sushi and I was telling her about how I needed to solicit silent auction items for a non-profit that I am involved with. The next time the waiter came over, my Southern friend said, just as natural as if she was ordering another tuna roll, "Would you mind sending someone over to our table who has the authority to make decisions about charitable donations." Within minutes, my friend had secured, on my behalf, a sushi dinner for four for the silent auction.

See. Southern women use their implants for good, not evil.

Turkey

msnbc.com has a video report about a pet turkey that needs cataract surgery. Um . . . . I have a plan. Is he about 12-14 lbs?

Weekend Treat.

This Robert Indiana would look so great hanging in your dining room for all of your holiday festivities.

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