Thursday, December 29, 2011

Construction Junction

Day 3 of construction on The Franchise. The builder has already demolished all evidence of the last tenant. They pour concrete today. Finally I can get rid of those bodies. Things are moving very fast now.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Blended families are hard. Very very hard. I, for one, am glad to go back to work today.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Why We Love Him

My husband sprained his ankle at indoor soccer on Tuesday.

Yesterday he was out on the street rescuing cars that got stuck in the snow.

And then he walked the mall with me while I shopped for my stepdaughters. Nordstrom has a killer sale on some Alexis Bittar and Kendra Scott jewelry. Given that the Alexis Bittar just went on sale yesterday, I have hereby proven that it does pay to procrastinate.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

All Is Bright

You know, this is why I love you. Because of your comments, I will ease up on my stepdaughter for dating a 27 year old (but I will not ease up on the 27 year old, should he ever dare to show his face around here).

And perhaps "whiz bang" is endearing.

You people put me in a good mood.

Also, my boss told me I was doing a good job. This can be translated as thank God you are here because someone has to be the regulatory attorney.

Anyway, I am starting to revisit the holiday spirit. There was a bit of a lull there the past two weeks.

Monday, December 19, 2011

What Would You Do

1. Every Christmas this one family member sends out floral arrangements to the rest of us as his gift. He told me once that he goes to his local florist and instructs them to create a "whiz bang" bouquet, and he also once told me the budget that he gives the florist. I know for a fact that he would be very upset and embarrassed if he saw the arrangements that we actually receive. They are not at all what he would select if he was actually selecting the arrangement. Part of me thinks he should know and would want to know, but another part of me wonders if I would come off as ungrateful. And another part of me wonders if this is way too much thought on my part given that his only input into the gift is "whiz bang" and budget.

2. Should a 27 year old be dating an 18 year old?

Used, with cookie

Y'all, after typing you a long and witty post, my computer chose to freak out. So you will just have to wait until tomorrow for me to tell you about my crazy relatives who were in town this weekend.

On the sunny side, I found a recipe for chocolate chip cookies where the cookies stay soft.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Joy To The Me

One of the greatest joys in life is watching your child discover something that they love. This is especially lovely after that same child spent the last 24 hours beating himself up after finding out for the first time in his life that he can score below average on an exam.

Last night my son took a SCUBA class. He was so delighted with his new hobby that he was smiling from ear to ear and giving big shouts of enthusiasm whenever he surfaced. Everyone else was so moved by his excitement that the whole pool turned into one big happy party.

I was so moved by his joy that I texted his father who replied, "What about the sharks?" Valid point, but I had carefully checked out the pool before hand.
And I texted my husband who replied, "But we live in a landlocked state," no doubt calculating the cost of international dive trips in his mind.


For two glorious hours, there was nothing in our lives but pure joy.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

An Alternative Education

My son has taken exactly three tests in his 10 years of life. The first two were IQ tests. One because he had to be tested as gifted to get into this alternative school he goes to, and two because we were curious if at 10 years old he was still as smart as he was at 3. Wait. That didn't come out right; we wanted to see if his IQ remained stable.

For purposes of the point, and not to brag, according to the IQ tests, my son is very smart. Really smart.

When you are really smart, you can get into this alternative school where you can study whatever you want at your own pace, and there are no tests (you can't give test to 18 kids learning 18 different things), and you are taught by parents who ended up becoming teachers just because they hung out so much at the school on account of the fact that they can't interact with normal adults at regular paces of employ. But I digress.

My son took his third test last month, a standardized test required now for him to get into a normal school for 6th grade. And he tested below average in reading and math. Something to put in your pipe and smoke before you drool over that expensive alternative school for your child. For what we've paid for this school we could own our house, yet I still have to find someone to tutor my son about the concepts on and the process of taking standardized tests.

On the other hand, he reads and understands Popular Mechanics, can do computer programing, and could tell you about every Republican currently in the running for president and why they would be bad for our economy. He wants to be a patent attorney or an engineer and to study at the University of British Columbia. But the university and the law school - they require a standardized test.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Big Weekend. Huge

Well I didn't break into any health clubs this weekend; rather, I attempted to perfect the chocolate chip cookie. And now I need to break into a health club.

Also, I caught the movie Love And Other Drugs on HBO. What. Both my husband and best friend were out of town this week and my son was with his dad. So I baked and watched a Jake Gaganhall movie (I am not going to even try to google the correct spelling of that one.)

As a lawyer, that was an incredibly difficult movie to watch. So many FDA and other federal health care beneficiary laws broken all over the place. If only I could qui tam a movie.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Who Settled This?

It is seriously friggin' arctic here.

I would have been such a bad frontier woman, which is odd because it is in my blood. My grandfather's grandmother was the first woman to travel across Canada in a covered wagon.


If that had been me? There would have been a whole lot of bitchin in that wagon and I would have nagged the whole traveling party until we turned around and headed back South. I don't know how they did it without Patagonia and heat and Starbucks. But more importantly, why. It continuously amazes me that anybody settled a town anywhere north of Texas.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Around The Corner

We open The Franchise in two months. The architects have submitted their bids and the funding is almost processed.

We need a manager. As noted, after buying The Franchise, I found a great lawyer job. So, ignore the part earlier where I said it was miserably cold here, and think of anybody that might want to move here and run a franchise.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A Runner's Life of Crime

There comes a time every year when I can no longer use the free treadmill (street) outside, and I begin to long for a gym. That time is when it is snowing sideways.

My husband signed us up for a 5 day free trial membership at the local community center. On Saturday morning I had to get my son to his middle school entrance exam, so I figured I would head on over to the gym for the trial.

But first I shoveled. Then I scraped. And then I had to shovel again because it had snowed that much. My husband was in warm South Carolina eating greens and peach cobbler with his kin. He was.

Finally we got to the exam center, which was quite a trick as my Volkswagen Rabbit is not a fan of snow. Luckily, the community center was down hill, so after I dropped my son off I slid on down there. The parking lot was empty except for a few construction people who are building a new wing onto the center, but I expected that on account of the blizzard. (And was also wondering who the slackers are who join the community center gym and let a wee bit of snow get in the way of their fitness.)

I found a pathway that was partially shoveled to an entrance at the back of the building and walked the halls until I found the treadmills. I got ready, hit start . . .

and promptly set off the intruder alarm. The gym doesn't open until noon on Saturday.


I prefer to think of it not so much as a breaking and entering as a misunderstanding. I think my husband is upset we are no longer welcome at the community center, and the next closest gym is a cool hundred dollars more, but I would like to note here that the next closest gym is OPEN DURING REASONABLE HOURS.

Friday, December 2, 2011

A Black and White Weekend

The Boston Terrier is coming for a sleepover!

My dog had to live with my ex because current husband doesn't like dogs. He's also allergic to certain dogs. Anyway, current husband is in South Carolina visiting kin.

Mmmm Boston Terrier. It's cold as heck here so I know he will be all cuddly and nuzzly. I am already declaring it the Best Weekend Ever.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

And Let's Not Forget Jell-O Shots

I am LOVING all this jell-o information. I am sure to find a new Thanksgiving Mold tradition for my family.

Alas, people actually liked the Frog Eye Salad that I tried this year. In fact, my guests who are, in turn, hosting Christmas, asked me to bring it over then. I got the recipe from, and it is the first recipe that pops up when you type in Frog Eye Salad. It is a pasta salad that uses those little pasta balls and has a pineapple egg sauce. It has no jell-o, but it has Cool Whip so that is the general "salad" category for which we are aiming.

Now, one of my guests was from Canada, and the other from Texas, which are not necessarily known for being the culinary centers of the universe. (Except for TexMex. I really would take TexMex over just about anything. Well, specifically frozen margaritas with salt.)

By way of disclosure, my family hated the Frog Eye Salad.
Me? I liked it. But I am the one that feels cheated out of a family tradition because we didn't have a Family Holiday Mold. So I could be projecting.

All this talk about jell-o and we didn't even yet get to jell-o shots. I remember when I thought I was really classy because I served my guests white grape champagne jell-o shots. Nothing says I am hosting a grown up dinner party like a jell-o shot. Oh the early 90's.