Monday, January 31, 2011

Friend Stalker

I drive by two perfectly good Starbucks to get to my favorite Starbucks. There is a barista at this particular location that is very friendly, and she froths the milk better than anyone else.

Because I am at the Starbucks at all sorts of random times, we have had the opportunity to chat and get to know each other. I felt a particular kindship for her because our situations are somewhat similar. She is a downsized CPA and now under-employed (although one might argue, given the perfection of her frothing, she has found her calling).

What started out as a barista-customer relationship grew into lunch buddies. Then she started to call. All good, right? This is what friends do.

But then every conversation was about the same thing - her dates and, after one date, whether this was the guy she was going to marry. Intense attraction right at first, and then deep despair when they stopped calling. Over and over and over again. She would call me to analyze every text, including ones that said such basic things as good morning. I explained that she was too intense over little things, and she was driving the men away. But still, same story, phone calls at all hours of the day and night. Calls at work, and when I stopped picking up my direct line, she went through the front desk. Then she started buying me little things.

I tried to take a break. The other morning she called at 6:30 and I ignored it, then again at 6:35. Then again a minute later. Given the hour, I began to wonder if she was having car trouble or really did need some help, so I answered.

She said, "Did you not see my number when I called?"
"I did," I said, "but I was busy."
"I just wanted to know what you wanted me to fix you for lunch."

Oh dear God.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Purge, Prepare

Still nothing concrete to tell you about the future of my career or The Franchise, yet I purge and prepare.

In purging for the next phase I have been selecting outdated clothes for the Goodwill, throwing out law papers and articles that are no longer relevant, and even tossing a few things that evoke good memories of past events - my mom lives inside of me. Certain things can go. Of course, certain things of hers will always stay.

In preparing for the next phase, I have gone through piles of paper that need attention and, even, started to shop. This is certainly new for me. As much as I talk about shopping, on my current salary from the non-profit, splurges a rare option. But splurge I did for a fantastic up-to-date business elegant outfit from the source - Ann Taylor. And good jeans for when I am in The Franchise.

Then I fret. I don't have a new job. I don't have Franchise space. But then I realize, why should I fret about it. Preparing for it feels good. I feel like I am living. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am controlling my life circumstances rather than them controlling me.

Happy Friday. I think I will be purging again this weekend. I have a lovely LOVELY new blazer - some of those outdated boxy ones can go! Plus, baby blue linen??? Was I high???

Thursday, January 27, 2011


Yesterday evening I noticed pain on the temple side of both of my eyebrows. Not headache pain - but surface pain. I brought my hands up to the spots and realized I had two great big bumps.

1. Ingrown eyebrow hairs?
2. Zits worthy of their own social security number?
3. Horn nubs?

I am thinking that it has to be 3, the beginning of horns. For one thing, these bumps are too big to be ingrown hairs or zits, and what's with them being in the exact same spot on either side of my head. It's weird I tell you. Weird. I look like that space alien thing from the new version of Star Trek. Or something. I am not a watcher of the science fiction genre.

Except for Mystery Science Theater 3000 aka MST3K. Listen to me know and hear me later. MST3K plus Burger Street hamburger and fries - there is no better cure for a hangover. Or so I am told.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Playing it Close to the Vest

I have been an inconsistent blogger lately (writer and reader) . . .

While life has been busy, that is not the only reason. I think good things are happening and I don't want to jinx them. I am holding possibilities close to the vest, like little treasures that I could drop and lose at any moment.

So on to the busy part:
1. My boss took a sudden leave of absence, so I am actually busy. I suspect lap-band surgery.

2. My 9 year old is going through the terrible twos. What? He NEVER had a "no" phase when he was younger. Apparently he was just saving up. Here we are.

3. A lot has happened in my area of the law in the almost two years I haven't been actively practicing. I have a little reading up to do if I want to make good on the things I have told people I can do.

4. I cannot put down The Lacuna.

Yet still, no new job, no Franchise space.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Leftover Lunch in the Boardroom

I really cannot find the words to adequately express how little I care that Oprah has a half-sister. This makes no difference to me AT ALL.

What does matter to me is that I thought that a Hermes scarf would look fantastic with my Ann Taylor coat dress for my next interview until I discovered that the Hermes scarf costs more than the dress and the shoes put together. For the love of God why?

Also, I don't like kebabs.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Why So Grumpy?

Why is it that the women who shop at the organic grocers are so grumpy? Does this prove we need some pesticides to regulate our mood? Our organic grocers (okay, the WHOLE FOODS) is known for being one of the best places to pick up a date in the city. Ladies, as someone who has scored two husbands (one of them excellent), it is okay to smile and be friendly.

Whew. Glad to get that off my chest.

This weekend I also spent some time at The Limited. I now have a stepdaughter that is of that age. You are all too old to remember but back in the day The Limited had this chunky knit V-neck sweater that - are you ready for this - everyone wore backwards. I was not allowed to wear my sweaters that way. Anyway, I bought my stepdaughter an interview outfit at The Limited. We bonded!

[Here is where I tell you that while I am old enough to remember The Limited v-neck sweater phase, I am too young to have a stepdaughter interviewing for university. Her actual mom is really old.]

Friday, January 21, 2011

Rancho Pescadero Pictorial

Okay. I'll stop talking about my vacation after today. Maybe.

This is the path to the main house for your evening cocktail . . .

This is where you spend your day (after surfing, or whale watching or walking around Totos Santos or La Paz or deciding to do none of those things because, really, it's perfect right here) . . .

And these are the men who spread joy throughout the land . . .

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Flooring is Overrated

Guess what decided to start working again today? The Canon Elph camera! While I am slightly dejected that it stopped working on day 2 of the vacation, I am ELATED it has decided to start working again at all.

However, I was able to gather a few pictures of the local color before the Canon decided to go on vacation as well. Do you know what they don't do to rellenos in Totos Santos (about 20 minutes from the hotel)? Batter the living daylights out of them.

Right there is where it ends. My camera started its vacation there at Miguels. But the night before we were at this place for tortilla soup.

Note therein, no flooring (that's gravel). Yet the lack of flooring in no way interrupted the enjoyment of the tortilla soup. Accordingly, I propose for The Franchise that we save money by not putting down a floor. It's clearly not needed.

Tomorrow - pictures of the Rancho.

Hotel Limo

Do not go to Cabo. Do not go to Cancun.

Rancho Pescadero is perfection.

(That is, unless you are craving a night of drinking at Senor Frogs after you spent the day fending off the timeshare people and purchasing cheesy chotzkies. You can do none of those things in Pescadero.)

Rancho Pescadero is top-rate without being in any way pretentious. It's surroundings are real Mexico, not tourist Mexico. This is Baja, the margarita, fish taco, surfing vibe but without having to do it in an airstream trailer commune - although, should you desire the company of the commune expats, and they do make fine company, they are just up the beach a few miles. But it's hard to leave the comforts of the rancho. Whoever designed and decorated this place, they hit the nail on the head. There is not a single picture by Frido Kahlo of Frido Kahlo, or a silver cross or any sort of portico with a bell. This is modern Mexico, elegant, relaxing, comfortable.

One of my favorite images, not done justice by the camera in the Samsung phone, the hotel limo.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011



Back to slush and cubicles. But back to my son and my interviews.

The above was taken from my phone. I dropped my other camera in the sand. Cameras do not liked to be dropped in the sand.

Does that look like Mexico or what? The road to the right was our morning running path. Okay, I only ran it once and then decided my main form of exercise would be reading. Baja Book Review and more pictures to follow. I'm guessing that nobody is going to bring me my coffee or my margarita at work this morning so I am going to have to do it myself.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Take off

Magazined up. Got a new book titled The Lincoln Lawyer. Ready to fly. Got a message from the rancho that says my margarita is waiting.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Lots going on. We are headed off to our little paradise by the sea. I'm going to be keeping a blog diary, but I am not smart enough to figure out how to send pictures from my smart phone. In other words, the phone is smarter than me. I know this because I already tried to do this and couldn't figure it out, but I will be taking pictures with the elph so you can be sufficiently jealous upon my return.

Also, while there, we will be celebrating momentum. I have not found a job. But things are looking up. I just need to leave it at that. Last year when I was looking for a job I would always keep the coffee cup from my sbux run after my interview. I know, right. Ewww. I would keep it on my desk until I found out about the job. This did not work as any sort of good luck thing and it is also kind of yucky to keep trash on your desk for that long, so I've given that one up.

I didn't have any good luck thing this time. Just a good feeling. And the only sort of ritual I have about the job search this time is that I just don't want to divulge too much - nevertheless, it was important for me to share at least this - I want you to know that things feel like they are getting better. Companies are waking up. They are telling me they are growing again, that sales are back, that hiring is increasing.

Oh, and also, let's not forget we are opening a franchise this year.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Pure Evolutionary Fabulousness

Today my son has to go to the damn zoo. "Damn zoo" is a direct quote.

This caught me unaware because I do not read the general memos that come from my son's school. At the beginning of the year I sign a contract wherein I agree to send them a large amount of money and they agree to teach my son. Unless they want to tell me how swimmingly my son is doing or, alternatively, how much he is slacking, there is really no other reason I need to hear from them.

So, my unedited reaction to my son's comment was, "Eeeeew."

(1) It's -9 right now and will not get above freezing today. I would actually rather be in my cube than at the zoo with my son.
(2) We are not zoo people.

We like the museum of nature and science. I mean, who doesn't like a life-sized diorama of a bear? We like the aquarium. You can pet the rays and there is a bar right there - really something for everyone at the aquarium.

And our zoo doesn't have flamingos. That I would go to see. How great is it that an entire species evolved to be pink. I'm not a huge fan of the pink but I can totally appreciate any type of animal that evolved to be PINK! (I am also a fan of pigs which, in addition to dogs, my husband is against owning.) Pink animals - there can be no evolutionary rationale for evolving to be pink other than pure evolutionary fabulousness.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Arctic Cold and Snow

It's a winter wonderland with snow here and, as predicted, I found myself in the house with nothing but nutmeg. Yesterday it was warm - summer warm. Oh I heard the warnings about the ARCTIC COLD AND SNOW coming, but I was all, "I'll grocery shop tomorrow. How cold and snowy could it be given that I am sitting outside at the sbux right now getting a tan."


After my son and I shoveled our way out to the grocery store and got supplies, and also went back to the Target so I could get another shade of orange nail polish (I ended up with a business orange and I was really looking for a beach orange), it was lovely to be back home watching the wonderland from the window.

I would send you a picture but my husband has my camera. He took it to the bowl game of which we shall never speak (VT v. Stanford), and then to his business trip. Anyway, you probably already know what snow looks like. When we first moved here from Texas and it snowed for the first time I took lots of pictures out of pure shock and sent them to my parents. My parents are both from Canada. And they were like, "What? We spent our entire youth in the ARCTIC COLD AND SNOW. We don't need pictures of that crap. Have fun."

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Middle of The Day

1. I think, generally, I am glad to be on Lexapro. I feel like a normal human again. Ha. Normal human. That's like the phrase "reasonable person." All except for the restless legs and the ability to sleep until 9 a.m. That last part is most disturbing to a morning person. I love my mornings. Nine is the damn middle of the day.

2. Title Nine! I love me some Title Nine. Off to look for a new beach hoodie because did I mention NEXT WEEK AT THIS TIME I WILL BE AT RANCHO PESCADERO. Having a margarita. Because it will be 9 a.m., the middle of the day.

(Title Nine is in CA, OR, ID, WA, IL, CO, TX, WI and MN)

Friday, January 7, 2011

Right Doesn't Feel Odd

Over the past year and - wow - almost three quarters now, I have had several interviews to try to get back into law. Not counting the three interviews these past two weeks, there was something odd about all of them. Sometimes I could put my finger on the oddness - like when I showed up for a second interview at one firm and the guy forgot to tell me that they had already hired someone, so they showed me their new office furniture instead. See, that's when I knew something was odd.

Sometimes it wasn't anything so obvious, but I would leave the interview just knowing I wasn't getting called back. Not that anything went wrong during the interviews. In fact, they generally progressed as normal business interviews. But you just know. I mean, I kind of still hoped I was wrong and would get a call back but my heart just knew otherwise.

However, the most recent of the three interviews have been great. Nothing odd. No sinking feeling. If I don't get call backs, so be it. Let's just say, I do not have any preconceived notion of the outcome of these ones.

It's kind of the same with relationships. I spent way too long in a first marriage feeling that something was off. Now, in my second marriage, there is absolutely nothing that gives me pause. We fight (rarely). We don't always agree on certain major things, but we agree to disagree. There's nothing odd.

In law, when a document or situation seems wrong but we can't find a law to explain it, we say it just doesn't pass the smell test. My dad says, "If you have to ask if it's gold, it ain't gold." (being a gold miner from way back, you know).

This year just feels right. And I have plenty of lovely candles to ward off any strange smells.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Yay, Boo

1. I had such a good interview yesterday that I came home and studied law all night long.

2. What is with this new Vh1 Jump Start Live talk show? No. No no no no no.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Stop me before I purchase at World Market again. David Rio Chai. Torani Sugar Free Almond Syrup. A little plastic polar bear that poops butterscotch jellybeans. Licorice Allsorts. Dear God I love the licorice allsorts. You have it on good authority here that black licorice is not a candy. It's a spice.

I was back there today at the request of my son. The other day I frothed the milk for his hot chocolate with my immersion blender. That gave him the idea that I could make him a vanilla steamer, if only I had vanilla syrup. Okay. Twist my arm. I'll go back to the food section at the World Market.

I did the World Market run on my lunch break after I went home and did the latin dance video. Two hour lunches. I have senioritis. Or, more applicable to my case, I-am-so-out-of-here-soonitis. Three good phone interviews and I have mentally and productively checked out. Oh, and also, another two hour lunch tomorrow for an in-person interview. Rock me Amadeus.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Tire, Interview, Samba Update Plus Tampon Mystery

1. It only cost me $12 to have my tire patched yesterday. God bless the local small business.

2. The third of my three phone interviews went very well yesterday. Sometimes I forget there are normal people out there conducting business. Also, this company is growing and hiring lots of people. I love to hear stories about businesses growing now.

3. I did not Samba yesterday. I will Samba today. Instead, I spent two (2) hours yesterday searching for OB tampons. There were none at the Safeway, the RiteAid, the Walgreens or the Target. Wha? Everywhere I went there was either an empty space where they used to be or there was no longer a space where they once were. And it was the same thing last month as well. Does the OB company need to tell me something? There is an OB mystery about town.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Fix Tire, Interview, Samba!

Monday to do:

1. Fix flat tire. (yay)

2. Third phone interview!

3. Samba!

I'm a runner. I think you either are a runner or are not a runner, and I am a runner. I get a little edgy if I go for more than a day without running. Running changes your mood. No matter what you are feeling when you start out, by the time you get home you feel good.

However, I don't run when the temperature drops below 20. My husband, despite his being really sweet, is VERY competitive. He will tell you that I have never run when it has been in the 20's, but that he has and that I have only ever run in as cold as the 30's. That's bullshit. I have so run in the 20's.

Anyway. Two things. First, it was 3 degrees on New Years Eve. Second, although running is great for my psyche, it hasn't been doing much for my fitness lately. It's the same deal as to why there are fat aerobic instructors. At some point, you peak if you keep doing the same thing day after day, and I think you even regress.

So, lately, I have been doing the steps to our basement. For seven songs. This has not been great for the carpet on the stairs, but has been great for my legs. Also, I bought a latin dance video. Girl. Oh my. My abs hurt! But it was so much fun! And I have given up the Christmas crack. Remind me and next December I will post my recipe for Christmas crack (it's a special blend that will ruin your teeth, but doesn't lead to those nasty skin lesions or prostitution).

Saturday, January 1, 2011

New Year's Day Furniture Rearrangement

So. I rearranged the living room today. Do you see that white out there? That is not my poor ability to focus my camera. That's snow. Finally. I say "finally" not because I love snow but because I fear the global warming.

Also, I plan to make friends with that corn plant this year. Or at least water it. That plant fears me.