Ring Around The Tuna

Oh this is lovely. This link was shared by a reader in response to my Thanksgiving mold post. (Sadly, she doesn't have a link because someone with this kind of knowledge I would follow.)

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/12-terrifying-jell-o-recipes

Also terrifying, the Viennese Salad - I crap you negative but they really do serve that in Vienna.

Anyway. Ring Around the Tuna. Do you suppose if I served that the next time I hosted the Pi Phi Alums that they would be gracious and take a nibble, or that they would get it was a joke. Probably that would depend on whether or not they were the Southern Pi Phis.

Franchise Update

We are $20,000 over budget for the franchise build out. Kind of makes the person who lost $7,000 doing home party sales seem like less of an idiot.

How to Have an Unlucrative Business and Piss Off Your Friends in the Process

Start one of those home party sales businesses.

Announce that you are having a party but by party you merely ask people to shop at your on-line account.

Let your friend make some purchases but fail to tell her there will be a cyber Monday sale.

And if you are still thinking of doing it, I know that my very intelligent friend lost $7,ooo in the process.

When Husbands Bake

How Many Things Are Wrong With This Picture?

One. One huge thing. The lights in our dining room decided to stop working and nobody can come fix until Friday.

But it is okay. I love the next 48 hours more than any other 48 hours of the year.

Thanksgiving Success - A Dish for Loathing

As far as I know, I don't make anything for Thanksgiving that everyone hates. Really, every family should have that one dish that the Thanksgiving cook loves to make but everyone hates.

Growing up, that one dish was my mother's persimmion pudding. God rest her soul. For my husband, his family had the Jello mold WITH MEAT IN IT. My friend Cheryl always put out stuffing that I swear had the consistency of cat litter and everyone begged her to stop making it, but she couldn't.

But this year. Oh this year I have found that dish. I think it sounds fantastic, but everyone will surely hate it and now we will have a new tradition. I had a particularly chatty barista today who was telling me about her family's frog eye salad. Done.

Golden

I couldn't be more pleased with my new gold hallway. It's so cozy. We'll see how I feel about it in the summer, but it sure is lovely for the holidays.

Holiday Mode

Y'all. I am so excited for the holiday season this year! No particular reason, just full of joy.

Last night I knocked out a good portion of my Christmas shopping at Sur la Table, my new favorite store. Whether you are shopping for a chef or an occasional cook, there's cool gadgets for everyone.

Also, this year for the first time we are doing outdoor lights. That way, if the car jackers / kidnappers decide to strike in our yard again, they will have a nice holiday ambiance.

I Do! I Do!

Casey James doing I Need Some Texas. Oh dear Lord. Yes Please. I'm sure it would work out better for me than Demi. And he loves dogs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h90_On6Nrj4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Harsh Little City

Our front yard was the scene of a violent crime recently. Earlier this year the house across from us was robbed and the culprits ran in front of our door. Just a few weeks ago, not far from where I jog, a man was pulled from his car at gunpoint.

Yet my husband won't let me have a dog. If you would like to call him to discuss, please email me and I will provide you with his personal cell number. If someone picks up and says "Hello I hate puppies," then you have reached the right guy.

We live in one of the more schwanky areas in town, so it's not like we're all hip living in an urban loft in a warehouse district recently reclaimed from condemnation and next to an empty lot.

However. I don't feel like I can let my son play outside by himself. I don't feel safe running by myself, or walking from our detached garage to our house in the dark. I feel like we need a dog or we need to move. My husband picked move. That man really hates puppies.

Nebraska Bound!

When my ex husband and son took off for a wedding in Nebraska this past weekend I had but one request. Just the one. Okay, it was a compound request, but still. I merely requested that my son be rested and clean for his prep school interview on Monday morning.

Wait, you say. Doesn't your son already go to that funky alternative school? Yes. But. Do you know what happens when you tell a 10 year old they can study whatever they want at their own pace. Let's just say we need a plan B.

I met them at the Prep School admissions office this morning and immediately noticed my son looked exhausted. On our campus tour he was leaning against walls and yawning when I wasn't trying to scrape the breakfast from the sides of his mouth.

After the tour my son went in for his interview, and then he came out and my ex and I went in for ours. When we came out, MY SON HAD REARRANGED THE FURNITURE IN THE WAITING AREA TO CREATE A COUCH AND HAD GONE TO SLEEP.

There is only one university in the entire country that is going to accept that he didn't get into prep school because he was too tired from raging at a wedding in Omaha. I hope he enjoys the University of Nebraska.

Vegas Show

Or, as our international visitors behind us proclaimed, some guy have all the ruck.

Who knew Rod was so loved by the Asian community. There was much picture taking and singing along. It might have been annoying had it not been so endearing.

Happy Birthday to Me

Oh look. I found myself at Bouchon in Vegas again.

The Horrible Truth

I hate to pay for a gym when there is a free street right outside my door. (See picture. Free street outside my door. With a beautiful running trail right in the middle.)

However.

It's cold and dark when I have the chance to run. (See ice on windows.) But one thing I have realized lately is that I really need to run five times a week, not three, for it to make a difference. Oh what to do what to do. I am not a cold weather person. Says the Canadian.

Swamp Things

As mentioned here before, my stepdaughter is a vegan. This makes perfect sense when you come from a place where the local delicacy is bull testicles, but this makes no sense when you live in New Orleans.

Do you know what's really good? Stuff that crawls out of the mud and into your pot. Swamp food. Deep fried alligator is delicious. Tastes just like (all together now) rattlesnake.

After wanting to stab my eye out with a fork at lunch because we were at a lentil restaurant mere feet away from a place selling fried shrimp po boys, my husband kindly directly us to real food for dinner.

There, at one of New Orleans' more infamous restaurants, my stepdaughter asked the waitress if the greens were made with any animal products. Bless her heart. To which the waitress replied, "Yes ma'am. Both cow and pig."

Both cow and pig. Now that's a vegetable!

Still Standing

I had no fewer than three people and one googled article tell me that my highschool didn't make it through Katrina.

I took this picture on Saturday. You see those steps there? That's where yours truly tried out for (and made) the cheerleading squad and also generally RULED.

Easy

I'm off to The Big Easy to visit my stepdaughter at Tulane. My vegan stepdaughter. I think the vegan population of New Orleans is probably one.

The last time I was in New Orleans I had two hurricanes and a basket of gator bites. And then headed out to party. My how times have changed.

Also, there's nothing much for me to show. I haven't been back since Katrina, but I understand my highschool is gone. My ballet school is gone. The place where my mom and I began the tradition of lovely ladies lunch is gone. The store where my mom bought her favorite hat, gone.

However. I suspect if you gave me a chicken neck on a string, I would still know how to catch dinner. There are just some things that can't get taken away.

Those States

Last night my husband asked me if Tulsa was in Oklahoma. The more I thought about it, the more I decided that was a reasonable question because really why would anybody have reason to know where Tulsa is.

Speaking of "those" States, one of the funniest things that I have read lately is Celia Rivenbark's chapter on Nebraska in You Don't Sweat Much For A Fat Girl.