Thursday, October 22, 2009

No Job For You

I did not get the job.

They hired someone with a different kind of legal experience. They might need someone with my kind of experience in about two years.

I feel like I have been hit by a truck. I know I am not alone. I know I am part of this recession story along with many other people I personally know, and millions I don't.

When I emailed my friends and family to let them know, everyone had a story about someone close to them in the same boat. There are so many people who did everything right and worked hard and gained usable skills and who want so badly to work - yet here we are, despite our best efforts (the resources spent, both time and money, to secure our future), despite the cold calls, the interviews, the networking.

Every time I hear or see a news story about things turning around, the recession being over, I want to scream. When my friend Hilary finds a job, my friend Kelly, Angela, Jim, the lady that my husband has to lay off this quarter, each of the secretaries that got laid off at my old firm, my neighbor, the 3,000 people that the newspaper says are getting laid off from Sun, well - lets just start with all of those people - when I hear of, lets say, two of those people finding a job (one that matches their skill level), we'll talk about the recession being over.

Meanwhile, the Tory Burch shoes sit on the floor of my bedroom in their open pink and orange box, mocking me, embarrassing me. I know my counselor will tell me (did tell me) that, for an interview, you need something special to make you feel good - but next time I will settle for a new lipstick, or wear a pair of my mom's earrings. Three hundred and fifty dollars worth of Tory Burch shoes would have bought food for two weeks, Christmas presents, or a plane ticket to visit my aunt or a friend. It would have bought a hell of a lot of big Lego sets to help my son with his process skills. Oh God, I think I am going to be sick.

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