How My Son Won the Remote

Rachel Zoe. We both have the same hair. She makes me feel better about my hair. But neither my 9 year old son nor my very tolerant husband will watch the Rachel Zoe Project with me. Which should tell us something. I don't know why I can't quit her or JCrew. I love neither. Yet every Tuesday I find myself watching the Rachel Zoe Project in a randomly hued boyfriend cardigan that makes me look more pale than I really am.

We have three televisions in the house, but only one that my son and I will watch. The one in the kitchen doesn't have cable, and there is no sofa in our small galley style kitchen. So you find yourself leaning against the gas stove, and if you do so too fast and too hard, you can turn on the gas and set yourself on fire. It's not good. This is why sometimes my son watches television in the sink - much safer.

There is one in the basement, but my son doesn't like to be in the basement, and I don't like the surround sound. It fools nobody. The people putting on the show are in the little box, so it is perfectly reasonable for the sound that they make to also come from the little box. Even if the people were actually in my house putting on the show, they would not be standing on either side of me yelling into my right and left ears - because as I have learned from my husband, if you have surround sound, it must be used loudly. I don't understand the surround sound much the same way my husband doesn't understand why I need 12 different shades of blush - its a gender thing.

So that leaves the upstairs television set and two people that need to watch something at 9:00. One of us needs to watch the Rachel Zoe Project, and the other one of us wants to watch the Science Channel. Nine year olds and their stupid thirst for knowledge. And, plus, doesn't he have a bed time? Oh, and I am the parent here. I was about to make some sort of argument and send him off to bed when he said to me, about the Rachel Zoe Project, "Seriously, mom. All that drama over a dress?"

So true little wise one. I was bested, and also possibly a little busted. And that is why I now know how sea anemone reproduce, but not whether Mz Zoe has finally given in and started wearing skinny jeans.