Best Ever Lifetime Movie

Ohhhhhh! The best ever Lifetime made-for-tv movie is on . . . Her Final Fury!

Speaking of Lifetime movies, I am a regulatory attorney. (Meaning, my life is not at all like a Lifetime movie, least of all any Lifetime movie that involves a courtroom.) My most exciting day practicing law until today involved having to hand deliver a piece of paper to the Secretary of State of a different State on New Years Eve, receiving said direction at noon of that day and there was a blizzard between me and the different State. Normally I spend my days reading the Code, and on the web pages of the agencies that interpret the Code. Until today. Today was a Lifetime made-for-tv movie in my office. Ripe for blogging oh so ripe for blogging were in not for that attorney-client can't tell thingy. Darn it.

Okay, I'm signing off. Here's the part where Betty Broderick goes ape shit and flings poo.

Things I Love, Makeup Addition

I love me some makeup I just do. I find that playing with all those little colorful pots and brushes is one of the most relaxing parts of the day. So you would think that I leave the house every morning looking like I am from Texas, but that is not the case at all. I frequently look at myself in the rearview mirror when I get into the car and wonder where it all went already. Sephora, inevitably, is one of my favorite stores, and here are some tried and true products - not just impulse products. I use these until they are gone and then buy more. 1. Benefit Dallas powder. And this isn't just because I love Dallas. This is the best overall color you can add to your face. It's not quite a bronzer, and you can put it all over without getting a mask. It just gives your coat a healthy glow. 2. Icelandic Relief Eye Cream. Oh my sweet little pot of relief. Eye bags are my birthright. As are dark circles. But this little tub does excellent work on both. I use this twice a day and for the first time since I can remember since my 30's my bags and dark circles are almost gone! Now, people get dark circles for different reasons; I researched the heck of this topic. So I am not saying this will work for you. But it works for me. Yay. 3. Stila Eyeliner in Topaz. One swipe of this on your inner lash line and you will look like you had 8 hours of sleep. I always get 8 hours of sleep, so maybe this makes me look like I get 16 hours of sleep. I don't know. What I am saying is that this is sleep in stick form. Sadly, my sephora took there Stila display away. First Estee Lauder sells Stila, then it goes away from my sephora. I am a little worried.

Things I Love to Eat, Random Edition

You know how I got the flu for 8 days and right thereafter my allergies kicked in and I lost my appetite for everything especially anything I ate during those 8 days. Well, my appetite is coming back and I can't get enough of:

1. Slivers of really excellent parmesean cheese. Mmmmm I want some now.
2. think Thin bars
3. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Laura Bars.
4. White Chocolate Chais.

So, with the exception of the cheese, the theme is sugar. This is disappointing because right before the flu I had gone off the sugar for about a month. A girl has gotta eat though, so here we are.

Things I Love, Random Edition

I have not one but two friends who do jewelry home sales. It follows that I buy A LOT of jewelry via home sale parties. And to this I say thank GOD because back in the early 90s all anybody did was Pampered Chef and after the 50th demonstration of the onion chopper I started to wonder if it could be used as a deadly weapon and if there wasn't possibly an easier way to score some free snacks and wine.

But I like to be supportive. My one friend claims that her home jewelry sales have netted her enough to pay for a Disney Cruise for her family - which sounds like the very depths of hell to me, but the point is, she made bank. My other friend is $2000 in the hole.

Anyway, I tend to end up with random things at these home sale parties. One night I had enough wine that I ended up with a string of faux coral beads with a gold bee, apparently momentarily believing that I was a retiree in the Red Neck Riviera needing some dress-up jewelry for the skillet meal event at the Dennys.

But the other week I got a $40 reimbursement for all the downtown parking I did during my interviews. (So you can see how I could buy something for $40 and it would be free.) I was already going to order a birthday gift for my M-I-L from my home jewelry friend, so I also ordered this $37 necklace. For me, kind of a random style. It's a short leather chain with wee little gold dots hanging off of it. I didn't know when I would wear it because I haven't sported leather jewelry since that one Lalapolooza, but I thought I would try it.

I haven't taken it off for two weeks. I wear it with everything.

Then, on Sunday, my son and I were killing some time at the mall before our movie started. We went into Brookstone. Therein I tried the electronic sweater pill shaver, right on my lovely Anthropologie jersey blousey thing I was wearing. Whereupon the electronic sweater pill shaver made a giant hole right in the blousey thing. I needed a new shirt. My son wanted to walk around Urban Outfitters and there I found a gray sweatshirt with three-quarter sleeves and orange airstream trailers printed all over it. MAJOR SCORE. Its so adorable and comfy.

For those of you who know how old I am - No I am not having a mid-life crisis much. Sheesh.

Franchise Update

Remember when we first started to look for space for The Franchise and I said there was this perfect space but someone beat us to it; that is, there was already someone selling a product like ours in the perfect spot. However, their product was substandard and the store was grubby. Well, they went out of business. And so did a lot of other stores in this one area. People are now referring to the area as a ghost town, weird, may never come back. We looked at the empty space of the former store and my husband and I could not get out fast enough. It just felt wrong. It could have been ours, but it just felt wrong.


So today we are turning in an LOI for a space at an outdoor, free-standing spot. We are really cautious because we first built our business model on being in a mall with mall traffic. In other words, our business plan is based on little build out and a steady stream of people. Now we are facing a full build out that includes, literally, laying down a floor. The space doesn't even have door. They have to saw a damn whole in the front of the spot to show us the space. The point is, we are going to have to build it out from scratch. There are 4 walls, That's it. And we have to move one of the walls. Build out costs are higher than we expected, passing traffic way lower. We have worked the spreadsheets every which way. If we make the same income as the next closest franchisee, we lose money. You read that right. We lose money. But there are good reasons to believe we would do better. Good logical reasons. Also, it just feels right.


I get heart palpitations putting a quarter in a slot machine, so the risk is a bit hard to swallow. But then again, my husband and I still want to do it. We could walk away. We could sell our franchise right and come out relatively whole. But we look at all the risk, and all the work, and we still want to do it.

TGIF - Weekend Plans

Someone recommended Allegra and I just took my first one this morning. You see, I am allergic to this fair city in the Spring. For a good three months out of the year, until everything is done blooming, I am snotty and grumpy and my eyes are watery and I complain and I can't run outside and then I get more grumpy because I can't run outside and I am a runner damnit a runner.

Anyway, how are you?

Have a great weekend! I wish we could all meet up for a happy hour! We are going to the Museum of Nature and Science, to see The Lincoln Lawyer, and to draft a redline of the LOI for the franchise space. That is, maybe we will go to The Lincoln Lawyer - I am 100 pages into the book and I think the book is very good. If I see the movie, I won't finish the book. But then again, I am anxious to start reading My Korean Deli. I read the first chapter in the Barnes and Noble the other day and it a fun fast read.

Hair Straighteners, Ham Hocks and Brain Hurts

1. My husband says that it is only fair if I tell you that I left my hair straightener on for 24 hours yesterday. Between that and the 4 hour broiling experiment, it is a wonder our house is still standing.

2. I am thinking that I have been away from the South for too long as I cooked with a ham hock and I hated it. Never substitute a ham hock for the smoked turkey leg in my split pea man soup.

3. I'm tired. I got this job because I had a unique career path prior to law school, and a legal specialty. Both matched this job perfectly. HOWEVER, there is a learning curve like you wouldn't believe. My brain hurts. I'm happy, but the brain hurts.

Toast

Yesterday my husband burned toast because he left it under the broiler FOR 40 MINUTES.

Oh where to begin where to begin.

Apparently not with the toaster. And at what point during that 40 minutes and the smell that ensued was he not reminded the he was making a sandwich.

This man can run a global supply chain process but toast? Very confusing.

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Today - I try to find a regulation that doesn't exist. You know the one. The one for which you are just going to type in a few key words and it is going to pop up but 5 hours later you've gone manic. That regulation that lives in the Black Hole of Federal Regulations.

The One in which I Disagree with Bobby Flay

We watch a lot of Food Network in our house. This is good because when I was my son's age it was things like Different Strokes, Alice, The Jeffersons, Love Boat and Fantasy Island. I am sure that contributed to more brain damage than all the drinking I did in my 20s.

Anyway, last night we were watching America's Next Great Restaurant. It's not on the Food Network but it might as well be. In this show, Bobby Flay, two other chefs, and the founder of Chipotle are going to invest in the restaurant of the contestant with the next great restaurant concept.

Herein my observations:
1. The founder of Chipotle - he's not so warm and fuzzy.
2. How did Grill Billies not go home last night? If I gave a presentation like that to one of my bosses, former or current, I would be sent home.
3. America needs a Soul Daddy's.
4. I don't get why Bobby Flay doesn't get Compleat. It's brilliant. And I am not just saying that because the contestant is a Harvard trained lawyer. Bobby hates the name. I think the name is brilliant. Bobby doesn't think she has a food concept. She serves calorie controlled portions. Look, Bobby, the greatest majority of women who are counting calories would come into a restaurant just because they know they could get a calorie count. They would then pick the food - and assuming it was average food, that's all you need for a concept. Oh Bobby Bobby Bobby.

My son and I spent a great deal of time last night discussing this, and we think Bobby is off his rocker on this one. With all due respect. Because, otherwise, we really like Bobby Flay.

Today We Remember

my Mom. You would have liked her. She was a lot like me only friendlier and she liked other people's kids. Today she wouldn't want us to be sad. She would want us to get Starbucks and buy shoes at lunch then have Vietnamese and white wine for dinner. She would want us to be happy. So please, treat yourself to a treat and be happy today.

At 9:00 pm I turn into a psychotic monster thank you very much Guy Ferrari.

When my husband is going to be out of town for the week I don't grocery shop. My son will live on kiwis, noodles and peas right out of the can. I have never heated the peas for him so he doesn't even know. Please don't tell him. Then he'll be wanting warm peas.

But then by mid-week when my son is at his dads and has been through all the kiwis and canned peas and noodles, I am left with pantry crap. That is, 2 lbs of sugar and panko crumbs. Why we have panko crumbs I do not know. I have never used them. Nor purchased them.

So, by 9:00 at night, after my afternoon latte has worn off, I get hungry. This happens to coincide with back to back episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. And then I start to want diner food really, really badly. Right now Guy is in Essex, Mass., at a clam shack. For the love of God I want some clams. A great big plate of deep fried clams. All of a sudden I want to plan a trip to Essex, Mass., to get get some clams. Right NOW. Look at all those people happy with their clams. Damn you Guy. What would be really helpful here is if you could show me what to do with panko and sugar. And also nutmeg. We have 4 containers of nutmeg.

Once Guy went to this diner in Albuquerque and when I was in that fine meth capital of the Southwest I asked everyone I met if they had been to said diner. Nobody had ever even hear of it. Which is crazy because for ten minutes one night I would have given my husband's left nut to be transported right there for whatever Guy was having because it looked soooo good. After the seminar I located said diner but, unfortunately, I didn't have time to stop because I had to get back to Santa Fe. Anyway, I want some clams. I really really really want some clams.

Blessed Normal Days

I'm lucky, blessed, thrilled.

Somebody is paying me to practice exactly the type of law I want to practice without any billable hours to worry about. This afternoon I left before 5:00 so I could pick up my son and take him to the park.

Life is coasting. I'm not waiting for something to sort itself out or in the midst of any drama. I am simply living. My son is happy and healthy. He's an intense, unique little dude and I quite like him. My husband loves me. I don't doubt this. My girlfriend ordered everyone to her house for wine and cheese and girl time tomorrow.

I know there is a ying and a yang. I know that there will be other dramas currently unknown that will rear their ugly little heads and throw kinks into our days. But for now, we are just living.

Also, here is a gratuitous Paul McDonald picture. I don't know why he looks like he has a black eye, but let's all admire the jacket. I know very few men who can pull that off. The picture is from wetpaint.com. I have never been to that link and cannot comment on whether you should go there. Rather, I merely lifted the picture from them off of google images. This side story does not bother my husband as he knows that he is the only tall blond musician for me. I would take the trumpet player over the lead signer any day, and I don't think Paul could pull off a searsucker jacket like my husband can. Really what I am saying is that Paul reminds me of my husband. Yeah. That's the ticket.

The Contingency of the Others

So here's the thing. I don't need to be on Lexapro anymore because the impetus for said medication is no longer an issue. HOWEVER . . .

I was at the park on Sunday and a lady asked me the time. I looked at my phone and told her it was 2:45. To which she replied, "Are you sure?" I looked again and confirmed. She then asked, "Did you change your phone for daylight savings?" I told her that it changed itself. To which she inquired whether I was sure my phone was capable of such a thing.

Okay.
A. I am not in the habit of tricking people about the time.
B. If I look as if I am such a person, why would you ask me about the time.

Then a gentleman came to our door with a girl holding a present. He told me that he had brought his daughter for Hailey's party. I explained that he was not at the right location for Hailey's party. He then asked me if I was saying that his GPS was wrong. He then proceeded to show me his navigator app on his iPhone and the picture of the house at which Hailey was having said party. He said, "Is this not your house?" Our house is green. The picture of the house in the app - not green. I showed him the green brick by my door. He then asked me where Hailey lived. I had no idea. Hailey has never checked in with me to introduced herself. I am thinking, however, that Hailey's friend, the one at the door holding the present, may be one of those normal children born to "special" parents.

Anyway, I took myself off the Lexapro because everything in my life was falling back into order. I neglected to consider the contingency of the remainder of the human race. Nevertheless, I do not miss the restless leg syndrome or the constant sleepiness. Also, $90 a month will buy a fairly nice pair of shoes.

Happy Birthday. I'm Sorry.

Happy Tenth Birthday Sweet Boy.


I am sorry that we forced you to be born ten years ago today. You so clearly weren't ready and you fought us every step of the way. I can only tell you that it seemed like the right thing to do at the time as we were keeping your grandmother alive to meet you.


I am sorry that you were born into chaos. We were so very glad you had arrived, but we had a funeral to plan and had just lost the person that held us all together.


I am sorry that your parents didn't like each other very much.


I am sorry that all of your outfits were yellow. I had no idea you would be so jaundiced.


That being said, I think things turned out okay. You have a mother, a stepfather and a dad that love you more than anything. I think you would agree that we finally got our shit together. And it only took us a decade! I love you Sunshine.

Random Friday Thoughts

Random thoughts in non-numerical order.

A. I cannot pass up a boyfriend cardigan with rolled (camp?) sleeves. Seriously. I will purchase that cardigan.

B. For some reason they got the impression at my new job that I have considerable experience in this one particular area of the law. hahahahaha. I would like to note that my response during my interview when asked if I practiced in that area of the law was, "to some extent." Meaning, really, that I was aware that it was, indeed, an area of the law in which some people have been known to practice. Guess what I am doing this weekend?

C. Its souffle for me today at the dbar!!! I'll be the one dining alone wearing the boyfriend cardigan with the the rolled sleeves reading the Federal Register.

I Dine Alone

There are certain things one just doesn't do when one's husband is out of town. According to my husband. For example, he would be thoroughly offended if I watched an episode of Weeds or hit the dbar without him.

But here's the thing. After having the flu FOR EIGHT DAMN DAYS, I do not want to see any single item of food that I ate during that time. The thought just makes me gag. That includes chais and Lara bars and blueberry salads and nuts. I used to be so healthy. Now I can't think of anything I want to eat - except for the Not Quite a Cob salad and a souffle from the dbar.

Also, I know that all of my besties are busy tomorrow night with a Junior League thingy. I think I am taking myself to the dbar. On a Friday night. By myself. Party for One. It would be nice if my husband could be there, don't get me wrong, but I gotta tell you - I am very much looking forward to my party for one! And some food.

Perhaps Tonight

So. I note that there was no American Idol last night and I was relegated to Cupcake Wars. Seriously. There is an entire show based on watching people make cupcakes. It's come to this.

I also note that some people are trying to make cake balls the new cupcake. I'm skeptical.

Anyway, perhaps tonight is cougar town on Idol. Fingers crossed.

Murphy's Law of Law

No matter what you read or study to prepare for your new legal job, your first project will be an issue of first impression. (Yay for Google!)

Y'all have a good Tuesday. I myself am looking forward to a little Paul McDonald tonight. I know. I know. However, anyone who can do Maggie May in a manner that seriously rivals the original is an American Idol in my book. And, also, I'm a sucker for a man who smiles using his whole face. (And for anyone who can pull off the jacket shown here.)

The First Week

Well, I wouldn't have chosen to start last week that way. That is, (1) causing my son to break down in tears by telling him that he had no choice but to rally through his pain and go to school because mommy had to go to the first day of her new job, (2) finding out that our high school friend had taken his life, and (3) coming down with the worst flu of my life. No exaggerating. That sucker lasted 5 intense days and is still hanging on. Yet there we were.

And there I was. Practicing law. Not incidentally, exactly the type of law I want to practice. Without billable hours. For a man that made a point to come into my office to explain to me that he wants to be sure that I understand that he understands that we all have kid schedules to work around.

I have a view of the mountains from my office. And above and beyond those mountains are the heavens wherein reside my mom, Nick, others. I give them a nod - hello from me. All is good here. Perhaps for now, but finally for now. I am not waiting for anything to change. I am simply living as I feel I am meant to.

Sweet Dreams

This is the bed that Betty Draper (and, not incidentally, Associate Girl) always wished she had.

Good Lord. I now know why I have never bothered to purchase a bedroom set. All my life I've just been waiting for this.

www.horchow.com

On The Second Day

I got a fever so high that I was hallucinating. Chickens. I was hallucinating about whole chickens. Fryers, that is. Not whole live chickens. Whole baking chickens.

I was in a meeting and it hit me. I could feel the pains travel from my neck to my toes and I got really, really hot and then came chickens. Then I started singing, to myself of course (at least I hope it was to myself), Bring on the Dancing Chickens instead of Bring on the Dancing Horses and this took my mind off of things for a while.

Do you call in sick on your third day of work. Yes, you probably do. Except they have brought in someone from the office in Chicago to work with me today, and she is flying back tonight. So instead we are about to see just how much flu medicine one can take and still remain upright.