Wednesday, March 16, 2011

At 9:00 pm I turn into a psychotic monster thank you very much Guy Ferrari.

When my husband is going to be out of town for the week I don't grocery shop. My son will live on kiwis, noodles and peas right out of the can. I have never heated the peas for him so he doesn't even know. Please don't tell him. Then he'll be wanting warm peas.

But then by mid-week when my son is at his dads and has been through all the kiwis and canned peas and noodles, I am left with pantry crap. That is, 2 lbs of sugar and panko crumbs. Why we have panko crumbs I do not know. I have never used them. Nor purchased them.

So, by 9:00 at night, after my afternoon latte has worn off, I get hungry. This happens to coincide with back to back episodes of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. And then I start to want diner food really, really badly. Right now Guy is in Essex, Mass., at a clam shack. For the love of God I want some clams. A great big plate of deep fried clams. All of a sudden I want to plan a trip to Essex, Mass., to get get some clams. Right NOW. Look at all those people happy with their clams. Damn you Guy. What would be really helpful here is if you could show me what to do with panko and sugar. And also nutmeg. We have 4 containers of nutmeg.

Once Guy went to this diner in Albuquerque and when I was in that fine meth capital of the Southwest I asked everyone I met if they had been to said diner. Nobody had ever even hear of it. Which is crazy because for ten minutes one night I would have given my husband's left nut to be transported right there for whatever Guy was having because it looked soooo good. After the seminar I located said diner but, unfortunately, I didn't have time to stop because I had to get back to Santa Fe. Anyway, I want some clams. I really really really want some clams.


  1. This is me with Cadbury eggs, all through Lent. I've gone two days without any Cadbury eggs and I wonder if I need a twelve step program to make it a third. Why do Cadbury eggs have to come out when you're trying to give things up? It's just wrong.

    Anyway. I hope you get some clams!

  2. I have in fact been to that clam shack in Essex, Mass and it is indeed tasty. If I still lived in Mass I would mail you some.

  3. I think I have to explain to those around me why I am laughing at the computer and shooting "I need clams"!

  4. Sounds like someone was at Woodmans of Essex.

    See these lobsters? -->


    I think you need to plan a summer vacation. :)