Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Home Alone 5

My husband is away on a two week business trip.

I’m not such a fan of staying alone at night in the house. I don’t sleep because I am convinced that every single sound means that someone is lurking outside the windows. My trepidation was only exacerbated by the break-in that was across from our house one evening at around 8:30 p.m. when all the neighbors were home.

I would be 100% A-Okay to spend the night alone in the house if I had a dog. My husband, however, thinks that he is allergic to dogs. I think that his watery eyes and sneezing when we are around dogs is really a psychosomatic reaction and that he just doesn’t want a dog.

He keeps pointing out that we have an alarm system. Hello? If that ever goes off, that merely tells me that someone is already in my house. Too late. Game over.

So I am left to protect myself with the hammer placed strategically under the bed Sharon Stone ice pick style. I also wear my ugly pajamas because if I happened to be faced with a robber / rapists, maybe if I am in the flannel Nic and Nora Target pajamas, he’ll just take the flat screens and move on. Although, I would probably chase after his ass if he tried to take my t.v. in the kitchen.

It’s going to be a really long two weeks.


  1. Perhaps, and I'm just guessing here, you shouldn't post online that you are home alone for two weeks? Especially if you're afraid of being home alone. :0

    Is your husband allergic to large caliber handguns? (hint - the answer is "I am well armed")

    Best of luck there Margarita girl...

  2. Anonymous - You have, of course, a valid point. Luckily, the majority of my readers are in Australia, Singapore and Canada, and mostly from Australia. How great is that? A whole land of people that get me! Anyway, after ruling out all those people from sitemeter, the police would have a fairly short list to question. AG

  3. FYI - A hammer is a bad self defense tool. It's too close range. Get a shotgun. Same power as large caliber handguns, easier to handle, aim doesn't have to be super accurate.

    Our employment stories are shockingly similar. Best of luck to you.

  4. Get a 12 gauge. You won't shells. Cock it once in the dark and you will know why.