PSA

This is a pubic service announcement. Yes, you read right. I have a friend who is a securities attorney and, instead of sending out a public offering circular to all the important investors, he sent out a pubic offering. In an act of solidarity in light of his giant screw up, all of his friends determined that, from here on out, pubic would be used in place of public.

Anyway, the announcement. Home Depot is going to stop carrying Ralph Lauren paint. This is unacceptable. For one thing, even when you tell yourself that you are not going to buy the Ralph Lauren paint just because it is from Ralph Lauren, you always end up picking a color from the Ralph Lauren collection. You know it's true. That collection is quite simply the greatest paint color collection ever. For a second thing, Home Depot is going to replace the Ralph Lauren paint with Martha Stewart paint. Really? Speaking of securities law - didn't she serve jail time for a little insider trading? I will not have her paint on my walls.

When I am done, the bedroom is going to be Ralph Lauren Sanctuary blue. Swoon. And do you know what I have noticed. My husband doesn't give a rat's ass what colors the walls are. All he knows is that this means he is moving furniture. But I really have a talent for this stuff. My living room is the most gorgeous shade of off-white. Whenever anyone visits they exclaim, "My goodness, that off-white! That is the most gorgeous shade of off-white." And I say, "I know, Ralph Lauren has a whole collection of off-whites. I will help you pick one out at my reasonable hourly rate." (Because even though I am not practicing law, I still like to think of my time at my former reasonable hourly rate.)

Hey, wait a minute. Isn't a Sanctuary where they keep the crazy people? Okay, F for name. But run out and get your Ralph Lauren color swatches now! They can be mixed into the Behr paint later.