Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Little Miss Missing Teeth

Holy Mother of God.

I have seen the dregs of humanity, and it is not the clientele at the Red Robin.

The little convenience store by my office is run by this crazy old lady who is always watching t.v. She also happens to make a damn good latte. So I know her well. I'll stop to chat and we usually wind up talking about whatever she is watching.

Today she was watching Toddlers and Tiaras. Oh. My. No. Sometimes I am just plain embarrassed for humanity. My skin started to crawl watching the little girls with wigs and fake lashes and spray tans and outfits that costs thousands of dollars. Two thousand dollars for an outfit and it's not even St. John - so wrong.

But then - oh but then - this one pageant also had a section for the over 50!!! Oh dear God make it stop. I'm not even sure these women had all their teeth. Seriously. Are they mentally challenged? I don't take using that term lightly I swear I don't but I really do have to wonder if these women are. No. Nevermind. I know these women are mentally challenged. Ew Ew Ew wash me with steel wool. SOooooo very much about my fellow humans worries me deeply.

What has to go wrong in your life that you wind up in an over 50's beauty pageant at the motel ball room in Terre Haute pissed off that you are only fifth runner up even though you are missing teeth? I mean, I have known some women who have gone through some hard times - they've ended up drinking, in bad relationships, or selling water filters door to door. But no matter how bad things got, they never ended up in a motel ball room at the Little Miss Glamour Pageant - competing at the Little Miss Pageant.

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