Wednesday, June 2, 2010

That Would be a Negative

The big news in Cube World is that I now have a cube mate. They took my box, put a partition in the middle of it, and stuck someone on the other side of that partition. As you may know, Cube World is also an electronic game that you can get in the toy aisle at Target. A little electronic person inhabits each cube. If you put any two cubes together, one little electronic person crawls out of his cube into the cube belonging to the other little electronic person and beats the shit out of him. I'm just saying. This whole sharing a cube thing has been modeled before and it didn't turn out well.

My cube mate is very affable. In fact, he seems to crack himself up quite a bit. I like this in a person - except when they are in my personal damn space. It is also quite possible that he is the loudest paper mover on the planet. And he's a pen clicker. And in place of saying "no" he says "that would be a negative" every damn time that no would suffice.

Now, I can just see my husband shaking his head and cracking up - because he knows that the last possible thing you would want to do if you were my employer is put me in an enclosed, dark, cold space with someone else who does things that humans do. He's laughing because he just knows this isn't going to go well - somebody is going to wind up being very, very sorry about this whole arrangement.

Also, I'm not the most tolerant person in the world when it comes to things like having to hear people eat or drink or swallow or smell what they are eating. It's kind of a phobia/problem that I should seek help for because, you know, peoples gotta eat. But I can't help it. Mouth sounds make me bonkers. God help us the first time cube mate decides to eat lunch at his desk.


  1. Do you think they are trying to get you to quit?

  2. In your defence, this guy does sound pretty annoying. And if it's started badly, it's only liable to get worse! Wait till he starts wiping his nose on his sleeve, sniffing continually, belching etc. :p

  3. "That would be a negative"?! UGH. Nothing is worse than people who use EIGHT fucking syllables where one would suffice. This guy needs a swift kick in the groin.

  4. Mouth sounds, chewing, slurping, swallowing make me crazy. Just ask my husband. Can't stand to watch people kiss and the slurping kiss makes me want to HURL!

    Kill this man before he farts.

  5. This had me cracking up...and very glad there is a door between me and my assistant.